So a secret part of my weight-loss plan was to have something to look forward to — nearline, not far. I know the ultimate goal is looking and feeling better, but that’s hard to justify when you pass by some donated goodies in the office or are invited out to the Bust-a-Gut Cafe for lunch. So, much like Weight Watchers allows 35 extra points per week, I’ve been saving up Saturday as a day of sin. I figure from 9am to 9pm Saturday I can eat whatever I want, and stick to 1500 calories the other six days like I’ve been doing. My body can absorb only so much, so even if I cram 10,000 calories into my gaping maw on Saturday, most of it is going to come out the pooper.

So here I am, it’s Saturday, and I’ve got two apple fritters next to me. I eat one… and I’m full. I swear, I feel like I’m going to make myself sick if I try to eat the second one.

Yesterday, I built myself a salad so large it needed a bigger bowl. And I couldn’t finish that either (although I did my best).

Can stomachs shrink?

TMI alert — turn back now if you don’t like TMI!

So I know I must be on the right track again, because I have become re-acquainted with one of the weight-loss side effects that I had forgotten about:  I am defecating 2, sometimes 3 times a day.   My anus isn’t used to this and is extremely unhappy with me at the moment.

Looks like unorthodox worked, although it was an unintentional fluke:

• weight: 234 lbs
• body fat percentage: 28.0 %
• health index: fatty bo-batty

Hm… 3 pounds, but no fat loss.  Water-weight?  Loss of muscle?

The past few days, I’ve had to work long hours and generally had no willpower at all during the day. I’ve had two 1800 calorie lunches and today I had a 1500 calorie lunch. So, to make up for it, I’ve had nothing but my mainstay snack for dinner all three nights in a row — My giant bowl of popcorn:

One meal a day is an unhealthy and stupid way to lose weight, since your body can’t possibly use a giant meal right away and it gets turned into fat. And yet, rumor has it that Sid Caesar used to do just that — he’d have one giant meal for dinner and tough it out until the next dinnertime.

Obviously, when work calms down, I plan on going back to my original plan, which was a slimfast for breakfast, a giant salad for lunch, and a reasonable dinner.

I began using Jim Fixx's The Running Program two days ago, and am following the 30-step training program that ends with me running 3 continuous miles every day. This should get me in shape to run a 5K with my wife in about a month; the actual progam takes twice that amount of time, but I feel confident I could at least finish a 5K.

Step 1 two days ago was "Walk 1 to 1.5 miles." No problem. Done.

Step 2 yesterday was "Walk 1 to 1.5 miles." Again, piece of cake.

Step 3 tomorrow is "Walk half a mile. Run 110 yards. Walk. Run 110 yards. Walk. Run 110 yards. Walk. Run 110 yards. Walk." Uh…

Nothing like a computer program to make you feel like an idiot! You see, I don't have a numbered running track to use; I'm just cruising the neighboorhood. The only way I know that I'm walking 1.5 miles is because I measured it previously with my car's trip odometer. So how to do this properly if all I have is a stopwatch? A "comfortable" running pace for me in my current state of health is 5 miles an hour, which is 12 minutes a mile. A mile is 1760 yards, so I can run 1760 yards in 720 seconds, or (1760/720)=(110/X) so, solving for X, it should take me 45 seconds to run 110 yards. So let's substitute and read it again:

"Walk half a mile. Run for 45 seconds. Walk. Run for 45 seconds. Walk. Run for 45 seconds. Walk. Run for 45 seconds. Walk."

That's a little better, but how long/far should I "Walk"? Half a mile is 880 yards; combined with the running segments it is a total distance of 1320 yards. That's not a full mile, so to stretch it out I need to come up with another 440 yards four more times… aha, they must really mean "Run 110 yards, then walk 110 yards. Repeat 3 more times." Now why couldn't they have just written that?

My walking pace is 3 miles an hour, so walking 110 yards (I'll spare you the calculation) would take me 75 seconds. So, I'm all set as long as I have a stopwatch. Now, where's that stopwatch…!

All this from a program that was supposed to be making running easier.

(All kidding aside, it really is a great program.)

There will be no week #13 stats as I am almost positive that I have self-destructed to the point of gaining weight for the first time this year. At least, I think I've gained weight, but every time I think that I end up losing half a percentage point of body fat or something. The switch away from regular pop must have really been the most significant thing I've ever done, since I'm not even trying and I'm still living at or below my body's energy needs.  And what are those needs?  According to The Running Program, my height and weight requires almost 3000 calories to break even every day.  Good gravy, 3000?  No wonder I'm floating downward:  I cut out 5 cans of pop a day, so there's 750 calories right there.

For years I used to quote Dennis Leary’s routine where he said he would continue to smoke because it didn’t matter how you treated your body because you’d end up like Jim Fixx. As I wrote eariler, Jim Fixx was an avid running enthusiast who suddenly dropped dead while running in his early 50’s. I, too, found this incredibly funny and used his situation as a reason to not run, along with other scary running stories (such as a girl who was so addicted to the endorphin “high” you get while running that she ignored the pain of her shin splints and caused permanent damage, etc.).

Lo and behold, some basic research turns up Jim Fixx’s autopsy, which indicates that he neglected his cholesterol which caused 95% blockage of one artery, 85% of another, and 50% of a third, eventually causing a massive heart attack. So it wasn’t really running that killed him; it was the lack of importance he put on regular cholesterol checkup and maintenance, coupled with a poor family history (a heart attack killed his father at age 42).

So, if anything, Fixx’s running history probably extended his life a few years.

Didn’t make an effort, and no surprise, no significant movement:

• 220 pounds
• 27.5% body fat
• Blood pressure 137/78

Even though I haven’t lost any significant weight in the last month, I am still pleased with my results — I have obviously made enough significant changes to my lifestyle that I am now living within my body’s means. I drink diet pop (which is tolerable, but I’ll never truly enjoy it), so that’s 750 calories a day less, which must have been a significant portion of my old lifestyle…  I also actively choose vegetables over other side dishes, and Melissa has been great about making chicken w/ vegetables a lot for dinner which is also helping.

So, I’m not in danger of gaining weight for the rest of my life… now I just need to get down to where I want to be.