Oldskooler Ramblings

the unlikely child born of the home computer wars

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Pharmacokinetics

Posted by Trixter on April 16, 2010

Signs that it might be time to look into fluoxetine or suitable derivative:

  • You spend hours playing Monopoly Party (xbox) until you can beat it with all AI players set to maximum difficulty
  • Food no longer tastes good
  • You consume an entire box of ho-hos in one day (see previous note)
  • You lack the drive to work on hobbies
  • You lack the drive to work on anything
  • You hit “refresh” on your empty RSS feed aggregator with the frequency of a lab rat requesting a pellet
  • The Sugarcubes  keep coming into rotation on your ipod shuffle

And yet I fear I may lose the ability to hyperfocus, which is one of my primary advantages over those around me.  One might say it’s my only (un)fair advantage.

Damn good thing I don’t like alcohol.  And that a three-day weekend is coming up.

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

It’s been a long time

Posted by Trixter on March 21, 2010

I was explaining my demoscene “heyday” activity to someone and thought that what I wrote might be interesting to about four people.  Four qualifies as a blog post, plus I’ve been neglecting the blog because I’ve been completely decimated by my day job.  So here we go.

My demoscene background was always the PC.  I did some cracktro programming — badly — in the late 1980s, but the American cracking scene didn’t have a concept of cracktros->demos until roughly 1992 (hi Tony!).  I officially discovered the demoscene proper with The Space Pigs Megademo in late 1990.  (The page has a demoscene.tv link to the video I did of it for MindCandy volume 1 (although the video is out of sync; it’s perfect on the DVD itself).  I had seen other demos before, like ATOM by Sourcerers but I had never been exposed to the concept of an underground scene dedicated to demos until I saw Megademo/TSP.

My demo productions were all PC, targeted to a 386-40MHz, with later prods targeted to a Pentium.  I coded in Turbo Pascal with inline assembler for parts that needed optimization.  I learned a lot about how VGA could be tweaked to display more than 256 colors, or higher resolution, or both.  (Or lower resolution.  I’m particularly proud of figuring out a true chunky 160×100 mode that works on stock VGA.)

In recent years, I’ve been coding for fun on even slower hardware than I started with, like the original 4.77MHz IBM PC from 1981, and also the PCjr/Tandy to take advantage of their 16-color graphics and 3-voice sound.  This slide backwards is intentional, because it’s more of a challenge, and challenges are fun.  I enter these little experiments into North American demo competitions (there are actually two this year, a record!  Block Party in Cleveland in April and at-party near Boston in June) and have even won 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place for everything I’ve ever entered, but I don’t do it for prizes or placement; I do it for these reasons:

  1. To relax (yes, programming can be relaxing)
  2. The excitement of manifesting something you saw in your head into reality using the computer as a tool
  3. Most important:  To make my demoscene friends laugh

For me, the demoscene was always about getting computers to things they weren’t typically designed to do, through clever programming and techniques.  (For example, realtime 3-D graphics on old 8-bit machines still amaze me, simply because those old machines weren’t just slow, they also lacked the ability to do floating-point math — they couldn’t even multiply or divide!)  Presentation, creativity, and flair helped.  Don’t get me wrong; I liked the art and tracked music too.  Especially the music.

As the demoscene moved to Windows, I saw the use of 3-d accelerators as “cheating” and didn’t move my skills or desire to Windows.  Unfortunately for me, I have since learned that there are still ways to push the envelope in Windows for that same kind of “that should be impossible, how are you doing that?” thrill.  64k and 4k intros are one obvious area; others include complex techniques like ambient occlusion, shading via radiosity, complex geometry transformation, figuring out how to get the graphics card to offload as much as possible, etc.  But even if I had known that then, I’m not sure I would have learned windows programming anyway, since my life was getting more complex (in 1997, I had been married for three years and just had a baby).  Real Life(tm) tends to get in the way.  I only got back into democoding, going to demo compos, getting back in touch with the scene, etc. in 2004 when taking care of the kids wasn’t as difficult.

Someday I hope to go out with a bang, a magnum opus that does 3d on an IBM with an 8088 and maybe some hardware/tweak effects.  I was really hoping to do it at Breakpoint, the party I have worshipped since its inception eight years ago, but alas, this is their last year and I cannot go.  Even if I were suddenly flush with cash and quit my day job to work on a demo for 14 hours a day, 7 days a week for three weeks, I still wouldn’t be ready.  And there’s no way I’d go to Breakpoint without a prod to show.

As hard as it is to do decent demos (with or without 3-d) on a c64, it’s even harder on an 8088 PC with CGA for several reasons:

  • Memory on 8088 is four times as slow as C64
  • Graphics are bitmapped only and graphics memory is even slower due to a necessary wait state
  • Even if you wanted to cheat and use character/tile-based “graphics”, the font is not redefinable

The only thing that makes democoding on an 8088 PC interesting is a real MUL and DIV (although they’re slow so you have to weigh the tradeoffs) and access to eight times the memory of a C64.  I’ve toyed with the idea of writing a JIT that could use the extra memory to speed up screen display… One can dream.

I’ll be at both NA parties mentioned above, probably with some very old hardware, older effects, and even older person at the keyboard.  Feel free to say hi.

Posted in Demoscene, MindCandy, Programming, Uncategorized, Vintage Computing | 2 Comments »

Attempt #4

Posted by Trixter on February 1, 2010

Despite what I wrote earlier, I decided to give it another go during a period of depression (you’ve been warned).

Attempt #4

Title: I Remember Howard, Cuesheet (with track breaks and CD-TEXT info)

People tell me this is Progressive Trance. I’m not sure any more. All I know is that this music reflects how I feel when I’m at rest. Wistfully hopeful (if one can make an adverb of wistful).

It’s beatmixed, and I tried to group things harmonically. Transitions in the middle are weaker than the ends, but at least it starts and ends strong.  I tried a different beatmixing approach in this one; earlier attempts adjusted BPM during the transitions, which was noticeable, and later mixes forced everything to the same BPM, which affected some music adversely. I decided this time around to very very slowly adjust the BPM throughout the entire mix, sometimes over several minutes, between 128 and 135. The goal was for the listener to not notice BPM differences if they listen to it all the way through.

Posted in Entertainment, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Chapter Three, In Which He Went Anyway

Posted by Trixter on November 28, 2009

A great reason to go to a reunion is to catch up with old friends and see how everyone is doing.  A bad reason would be to despair over missing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the sole reason it comes along once in a lifetime.  I went to my high school reunion for the latter reason, and lack the words to express how overjoyed I was that it led to the former.

I love the phrase “time heals all wounds”, despite how hackneyed and worn it is.  It represents what I keep forgetting:  The older everyone gets, the more level the playing field gets.  There are people I have met in my professional career that would have never given me a second thought in high school (think “computer nerd meet-cutes head cheerleader”), and every time we interact, my inner nerd simply cannot get over the fact that we are interacting.  It never ceases to amaze me how normally everyone can get along despite dissimilar backgrounds.

There were a few snags; my cell phone broke this afternoon so I had nothing to take pictures with, and there were two people from the high school radio station that I started to talk to but couldn’t because my ears were shot and I just couldn’t understand them.  But those were secondary concerns compared to the best discovery of the evening: Viewing myself through other people’s eyes.  We imagine the worst for ourselves, about ourselves, and yet the simplest things can completely turn your entire perspective on life around when you hear things like:

“I wanted to tell you how much your writing influenced me and shaped my own writing.”  (It did?)

“I found people to talk to here tonight, and I wasn’t a part of anywhere near the number of clubs and organizations you were in.”  (I was?)

“I just wanted to let you know how much I admired your character.”  (My what?)

“You need to come over next time [we have a party]; you’d really get along with all the people who come.”  (I would?)

I still find it somewhat hard to believe.  But I’m starting to.

It’s humbling, and wonderful.

Posted in Sociology, Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

Hello Again Everybody

Posted by Trixter on November 15, 2009

Exactly one year ago, I attempted to change my entire life to get ready for my 20th-year New Trier Class of ’89 high school reunion.  Brought on by conflicting emotions of wanting to be accepted and faint memories of truly good times, my head was swimming in thoughts like:

“I’m at a good place in my life right now, so I wouldn’t feel ashamed to attend.”

“Some of my old friends will be there, and it will be great to catch up.”

“Hey, I still have all my hair and none of it is gray; maybe if I lose a few pounds I can look closer to how people remember me.”

I can already sense what you’re thinking, and you’re right, but I went ahead with the plan anyway.  I joined Weight Watchers, and worked up the courage to look for a new job that would advance my career while being rewarding at the same time.  Lost 30 pounds.  Got the new job.  Mission accomplished.  Well, the reunion is right around the corner — and I will not be attending.  Why?

While I have some genuinely fond memories of both high school and the friends I met there, it became increasingly clear towards the end (this is the obvious part) that, 20 years later, I was still chasing feelings of inadequacy.  New Trier was (and might still be) one of the most competitive public schools in America, with more than 80% of students scoring well above the national average during the time I went there.   (The top 1/4th of my class had a weighted GPA of 3.9, and the top 1/10th had a weighted GPA of 4.6 which sounds impossible until you realize their entire coursework consisted of AP classes.)  It was one of the largest suburban public schools of the time, with a total student population of nearly 3800 when I attended.  My graduating class was over 800 students, nearly all of them grossly better than I was in almost every area of academia.  And in my head, then and now, I was trying to be accepted by everyone I personally knew, usually failing at the same time.  That’s not healthy.

I asked friends for advice on whether or not I should attend, and got good advice.  When asking ‘shouldn’t I go to catch up with old friends, etc.?’ the responses were along the lines of “Isn’t that what facebook is for?” or “You knew them for four years, then didn’t talk to them for twenty; why do you want to go again?” or “My reunion consisted of all the jocks and cheerleaders hanging out with each other while a few people sat alone at tables — just like high school!!”, etc.  The most humbling reply was from a friend who lives within driving distance:  “You don’t need a reunion to catch up with me; stop by any time.”

They’re all correct.  You can never go back, and in my case, I shouldn’t want to go back.  Still, in my head, it stings.

Many of my fellow classmates have gone in enviable directions.  Without naming names(*):

  • Our class valedictorian (and a friend of mine) went to Harvard and then scored in the financial industry in the 1990s
  • My first girlfriend became a Rhodes scholar and got her doctorate in a literary field and now lives in the UK
  • One friend who was always a better programmer than me leapfrogged me entirely by becoming an electrical engineer who also did low-level interfaces for embedded systems (some medical, I believe)
  • Another friend got her masters in environmental engineering and is now a director at a California water company, championing water quality
  • One of my oldest friends (even before we attended high school) entered one of the most selfless professions and became an educator (say what you want, that takes dedication and cajones)
  • My senior prom date got her doctorate in a musical field and has composed and performed music heard by hundreds of thousands people
  • One ludicrously talented composer and performer made the leap to Hollywood and married a brilliant mathematician (and actress)

…and the list goes on.  Compared to them, I could feel like a failure.

But I’ve done well too, in my own way.  There is a dumb yet succinct saying that goes “The only person who can make you angry is you.”  It took me a long time to realize that applies to how you feel good about yourself as well.  So here’s where I bring the reunion to me, and tell any fellow Trevians who happen to catch this blog post how I’ve been doing:

So that’s me since high school in a nutshell.  Nice to see you again.

In honor of the positive times I had at New Trier, I’ve done two things.  First, I’ve uploaded some photos of me during that time with friends to facebook, and I’ve tried to tag them where possible.  (They should be viewable even if you don’t have a facebook account.)  Secondly, and of substantially more interest to my typical nerdly blog readers, I’ve made available a transcription of the New Trier High School Fight Song played at every home game — as rendered by Music Construction Set running on a Tandy 1000 in loving 3-voice dampened square waves.  Seriously.

Hey, I’ve still got my hair.  That’s gotta count for something.

Jim, seperated by 20 years

Jim and Jim^2, separated by 20 years

Whoa — is it me, or did it just get fatter in here?

(*) Names available upon request

Posted in Family, Lifehacks, Sociology, Uncategorized | 15 Comments »

And now a word from our sponsor

Posted by Trixter on May 5, 2009

This is going to be the first and last time I mention The Oldskool PC Store, mainly because we’re short this month and need to pay real estate taxes.

YEAH, I SAID IT.  I AM BROKE THIS MONTH.  (Actually, I’m broke most months, but this month is one of the important ones.)  So if you want some vintage gaming goodness in exchange for a few bucks, check out my store.  You’ll be helping me out, and get some gaming history in return.

Tune in tomorrow for our regularly scheduled programming.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Voter’s Remorse

Posted by Trixter on November 3, 2008

Nothing upsets me more than political discourse.  And, with that sentence, I have immediately alienated approximately half of my readership — which naturally upsets me more.

Every four years, Americans put themselves through hell trying to elect someone whom they can come to terms with.  There is no perfect candidate; there is no best match (even Mondale got six electoral votes).  I am reminded of Robin Williams appearing on Letterman in 1988 shortly before the election, trying to decide who to vote for:  He likened Bush and Dukakis to a Ford Pinto and a Suzuki Samurai:  One blows up; the other rolls over — so which car do you feel comfortable driving?  I would rather walk, thank you.  But stating that publically gets you treated like a terrorist.  Celebrities mocking you into voting does not help.

This year’s election has many facets, but the most dividing issue in my neck of the woods is war: Defense spending, the Iraq war, the military, etc.  You either believe that attacking threats abroad is necessary, or you believe that it is wrong to pre-emptively strike first.  That’s pretty much it; there’s no gray area.  I mean, sure, there is a gray area, and it’s okay to put yourself in it, but you’d never know it from listening to both sides.

It doesn’t upset me that people choose opposite from me on issues; everyone is free to believe what they want.  What upsets me is how intolerant they are of my position.  In the last week, I have heard some of the most spiteful, pretentious, and downright sarcastic language regarding any political position I may or may not hold; from coworkers, random strangers, even members of my family.  Some of it is motivated by fear — biologically, a great motivator; intellectually, a terrible motivator.  Much of it is motivated by wealth.  Unfortunately, some of it is motivated by race.  It’s all terrible.  If voting for our government is such a gift, why are we made to feel worthless for expressing what direction we want to cast ours?

From now on, I’m keeping my political opinions to myself.  Never before have I been so maliciously scarred for exercising a basic right.

Posted in Sociology, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

I’ll save you the trouble

Posted by Trixter on September 20, 2008

As I edit the NVScene video that I shot for nVidia/Demoscene.tv (technically I own the rights to the footage, but out of professional courtesy I am giving them a six-month exclusive license to it), I find myself with a lot of free time, because creating .WMV files for previews requires rendering, and rendering 1920×1080 footage on my hardware takes a very long time.  So I’ve decided to pick another series I haven’t seen completely and watch every single episode in the downtime during the renders.  I did this previously with Star Trek: Voyager and DS9.  This time, I’ve chosen Mystery Science Theater 3000, including the early KTMA episodes.  With nearly 200 shows, at 1.5 hours per show (minus commercials), this will take a while.

So, having gotten through 20 or so KTMA episodes and well into the first proper season, I am going to save you the trouble of watching the KTMA episodes:  Don’t.  Weinstein’s acting and riffing is just horrible, there is no invention exchange (my favorite part of the Joel episodes), and the movies aren’t bad enough to be funny, just bad.  Which makes the whole experience incredibly boring.  I watched them at night because I knew they would put me to sleep, which they did.

There are two KTMA episodes worth your time:  SST Death Flight (for all of the cameos) and Hangar 18, which is silly in the first hour but neat sci-fi in the last 30 minutes.  That’s right: I’m recommending those two episodes for the movies themselves.  Watch those.  Delete the others, and don’t look back.  Start with the proper Season One and just try to ignore Weinstein until he’s gone.

Yes, I am being unnecessarily unfair to Weinstein.

Posted in Demoscene, Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

Utterly random observations

Posted by Trixter on June 23, 2008

I had to kill a mouse this morning before leaving for work; our young male cat catches things outside and brings them inside, and must have forgotten to deal with this one.  It was a young, small mouse, and it was really fast; I did my best to try to trap him such that I could grab his tail and remove him while still alive, but after almost losing him several times I just had to end it quickly to prevent him from entering the bowels of the house.  I am still saddened by this hours later, and I wonder why.  We kill insects and plants daily, sometimes without knowing it; this doesn’t trouble me, but killing a mammal does?  We have the largest cattle rendering industry in the world and yet I am bothered by killing a mouse.  What a screwy society.

George Carlin died today.  This is unrelated to the above discussion, I assure you.

I have reached an epiphany regarding weight loss:  I think it’s truly time to start losing weight when the distance of your belly from your waist exceeds the length of your junk.  (Applicable to men only, of course — I have no idea what the corresponding metric would be for women.)

Despite the above ruminations, I am not depressed.  Just introspective.

Posted in Sociology, Uncategorized, Weight Loss | 2 Comments »

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before

Posted by Trixter on May 4, 2008

So there’s a pattern to my cycle:

  • View things that should make me feel awesome but instead make me feel depressed
  • Stay depressed for a while
  • Start to feel moody and angry and obstinate
  • Accomplish something that snaps me out of it

I can thank Jason Scott, this blog, and the comments of a few kind people to help me see this. Whether or not it is a cyclical bipolar disorder or something else is a discussion for another day.

So what happened this time? Let’s break things down:

View things that should make me feel awesome but instead make me feel depressed: Unfortunately, this was the result of stumbling across more of Jake “virt” Kaufman’s work. I am in awe of people who are so passionate about a certain thing (in his case, obviously music) that they can, by sheer force of will, become a prodigy in that field through research, experimentation, and sheer practice. I previously felt this way about Mark Brown (maruku barunu) and Peter Habja (Skaven); if you haven’t examined maruku’s techmaru.mod in Protracker as it plays, or listened to Skaven’s Network .s3m, you owe it to yourself to check them out. And keep in mind they had no formal musical training.

Stay depressed for a while: Yes, well… you saw the post prior to this one.

Start to feel moody and angry and obstinate: When I do this I find myself just sitting and doing nothing, listening to music like this:

  • Throw It Away by Juke Kartel
  • A Girl Like You by The Smithereens
  • Celebrity Skin by Hole
  • Human by Carpark North
  • Cigarette Dangles by The Pursuit Of Happiness
  • Dance Floor Anthem by Good Charlotte
  • Move Along by The All-American Rejects
  • Plowed by Sponge

I can’t tell if this is my “coming out of it phase” or “falling deeper into it” phase.  I think the deciding factor is whether or not I’m singing along to it (“coming out of it” phase).

Accomplish something that snaps me out of it: In my case, I had a lot of help with this step, mainly help from my loving wife, some very kind comments and email from my friends, and then a later love letter from Jason.

Oh, what did I accomplish? MONOTONE now has Adlib support.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »