Oldskooler Ramblings

the unlikely child born of the home computer wars

Black Hole

Posted by Trixter on January 23, 2008


I am smarter than most people. I am aware how very conceited and pretentious that sounds, but it’s true. And it sucks.

“Boo hoo, poor me,” I hear you say. Yeah, I get it. It still sucks. It results in “conversations” with people where the exchange is typically something like this:

Hey <person>, you can’t perform process X without first processing Y.

“Why not?”

Because you don’t know what procedure to follow until you have the results from Y.

“But I always follow schedule A to process it!”

(let out a sigh) Without checking the results of Y?

“It’s always worked before…”

But that’s a coincidence. I’m amazed the service is still up. You really should read the documentation and follow the proper process.

“But I like my eggs sunny-side up!”

If that last line doesn’t make any sense, it shouldn’t. That is quite seriously how much of my conversations have gone today. You try to have a rational interaction with someone, and they let out a statement that so utterly and completely misses the point, misses all points ever made, that your brain completely blows the stack and dumps core.

The frequency of this happening at my workplace is increasing over time. I am beginning to think that it’s a natural defense of stupid people — to feign ignorance until the protagonist at a loss for words.

There are days when dealing with people becomes an exercise in endurance, where you struggle to communicate basic tenements of logic in a futile effort to get something done. These days I can handle, as I am fairly patient. But then there are days where you are clutching to a ledge by your fingernails struggling to avoid getting sucked into a black hole of mass idiocy. These are the days I can’t handle, and must resort to playing loud repetitive 1990s acid house in my earbuds to drown out the frustration.

I wish I could expand on the kind of day I am having in glorious sarcastic detail, but I can’t, since a few co-workers read my blog and I wish to keep my job position. At least I have my broken XT keyboard to “play” with tonight after the family is asleep, which should take my mind off of things.

Or a game, I suppose. But that wouldn’t be very productive, and after today, I sure as hell need to get something done.

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4 Responses to “Black Hole”

  1. “But I like my eggs sunny-side up!”

    Heh, I’m going to use that one the next time some pompous know-it-all won’t shut up about how much smarter he is than me, no matter the context. That should make Mr. Smarty-Pants’ head explode.

  2. Matt Hite said

    I usually scream slartibartfast myself. Always confuses them.

  3. spoulson said

    I feel the same way, but my wife constantly reminds me how she has the upper hand in other forms of cognitive skills.

  4. Mel said

    More editing:

    “There are days when dealing with people becomes an exercise in endurance, where you struggle to communicate basic tenements of logic”

    The slums of logic? I think you mean tenets! On days like these, isn’t it wonderful to come home to your brilliant, logical wife? :-D

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